Excerpt from an interview with a world-class villain
Lifestyle Magazine: So, what do you do in your spare time?
World-Class Villain: Well, perfecting my evil laughter, of course. A villain’s plans might backfire spectacularly, or his lovely assistant might fall in love with a British spy, or his henchmen might never get things done right; but at the end of the day, it’s evil laughter that separates the villains from the mere bad guys. It isn’t just a cackle – that’s just loony. And of course giggling is completely not on, that’s only for The Joker. Evil laughter should come from the gut, it shouldn’t be loud, but it should project and reverberate and fill the air with inevitable, impending doom.
LM: I see.
WCV: I don’t think you get it. Okay then, go on, give it a shot.
LM: muahahah - muahahahahahah - muahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAkh … ha .. ha.
WCV: (With a rueful shake of the head) You’re screaming there, my friend. Please – stick to journalism.
LM: (Cough) er … okay (slightly shamefaced) … point taken. Ahem. So. Let’s talk about films. Any on-screen villains you admire?
WCV: Ah, that would be Alan Rickman in Die Hard, of course. Worldly, debonair, articulate; how I wish I could be like that.
LM: But I don’t remember any evil laughter coming from him …
WCV: Which is exactly my point. He exudes it; it emanates from his very soul without him actually having to do it. Very subtle, but unmissable. You have no idea how many times I’ve watched Die Hard. It’s an eighties Hollywood movie, so of course McClane has to win in the end, but without a doubt Hans Gruber is da man.
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